- Since when you are living in Kraków?
- I came here at September 2014.
- Why Kraków, why Poland?
- My short answer mostly is: because it is not Hungary. And basically I said much more with this, as I would go into details.
- Is it what you expected?
- To be honest, before I packed my car and cats, I had no clue where I am coming - I mean literally. Not even as a tourist I've been in Kraków before. Due to this, I did not know what is waiting, what will happen so I had no expectations.
- How would you describe the passed 4 years in Kraków?
- Rollercoaster. There were much ups and downs - and I do not mean it in the "general, everyday life". Everyone, everywhere has those. I mean real deep sh*t, and/or real happiness, successes.
- ....and, how is going now?
- Let's say: It is OK.
- What does "OK" mean?
- I learned this from my Italian (ex) trainees/friends. If you don't want to complain or literally pour your (existing or non-existing) problems on your talking partner, then it is better to be on the safe side and say: "it is OK". I feel it much more polite and easy going, then the Hungarian way: hours of complain with/without reason.
- Nah, come on. Tell us some memorable, good points from the last 4 years.
- First of all, I met a few but really valuable people. Many of them left already - see, somehow all the good points may turn to sad...okey, so. I met a few, but really valuable people. I was promoted first time in my life, because the management thought, I am the proper person to that position (trainer). Something like this is almost impossible in Hungary. I tried a few things, what never before: for example snowboarding.
I never had the chance and I need to admit, that is one of the most amazing things what I tried so far. This is what keeps me alive/going at super long, cold, grey, heartless winters.
I had a few guests, friends here and nice, joyful days. And for 2 years now I am living in a flat, what I was always dreaming about. Far from the crowd, green with a tiny garden, with (mostly) quiet neighbours - and cute doggo! Also probably this, I would never achieve in Hungary.
- Why?
- Simple: financial reasons.
- So, money counts?
- If money would count, I would pole dance in Switzerland. Nope. Not money counts. But you know what? Let's turn the question back: how much would your heart cost? For how much would you hear twice a day for 30-60 minutes those political views on the public transport (+- workplace, neighbour, television, radio), which make you angry, sad, disappointed and hopeless? For how much you would assist the system, which made you run?
For how much you would go to bed and wake up every morning with stomach pain and with the fact, that you gave up your future and see, that there is no chance for your future children to have normal education, health care or anything, which should be basic in 2018, middle of Europe?
For how much money you would see, that the people who are important for you, struggling with serious financial issues (including yourself of course) or leaving forever, watching the sad, unhealthy, terribly stressed faces on the tram, bus. For 100 000 forints? Maybe 300 000 forints a month? Or even more, less?
- .....
- I gave up/risked a lot. I lost a lot. Still back in Hungary. And during my stay here as well. But I needed change. So, let me repeat. No. It is not about the money. And not - even though the government propaganda likes to wash the brains with this message - adventure or "wow, so much fun and joy". Nope. It is not. Sometimes it is super difficult.
- What is the most difficult for you?
- There are practical, everyday issues and of course mental, feeling dificulties.
- For example?
- Language. Yeah, I know, I know. Also my mistake (yes, ALSO mine, not JUST mine), but I gave up learning polish. I could not archive any progress, any success or get further. So I gave up. This makes even a small thing, which I may probably not even recognize in Hungary a huge problem. Post. Car repair. To buy envelope.
There are certain - behaviours and habits, which I can not get used to. A few I tried to adapt and fit, but there are some, which I just simply can not, do not want. Those are the everyday "problems"
- And what about your feelings?
- Friends. Although there are really few, whom we stick together despite the distance, sometimes I terribly miss them. And I am not thinking about girly nights to go out. Those as well. But those summer nights, when next to a bottle of wine you just change the word, find out big things, dream about spectacular future...those. Deep. Conversations. Also in the past one year there were situations, where I really missed my family. Miserable days, when you can not talk on your native to tell, what really bothers you and makes you sad.
Even though I hope my English level is improving - or at least does not get worse - still your native is your native. Sometimes it is even hard to express yourself properly in your native. Then imagine on another language. It is just simply not the same. And makes more difficult to digest feelings, problems, negative energy.
On the other hand I need to underline here again: I met a few, wonderful people here. However most of them left to other countries, but still. Without moving, probably I would not meet with them. Also I met here with my boyfriend, who showed me many new exciting food, activities and places to me. He shed some light on a completely different side of the life.
And I could count on him as well on my darkest days. I will be always thankful for him because of this.
- How you mean, "different" side of the life?
- Well...in Hungary I used to be always on time. Always planned everything. No, not just for the next week, but let say for the next year, years, decades. I was super stressed, if something went wrong/or better to say different/ according to the plan. I always used to say: German pünktlich.
And he is from Italy. You can imagine, in how many points we are completely different. Not just food, habit, but for example our relationship with time, promises, calendar is also far away from each other. But actually this difference opened my eyes, that is not a tragedy, if we go to another hotel, not what we booked in advance, there is no problem if we arrive somewhere not at 7 but 7:30.
I mean, obviously there are certain appointments when we need to be on time, precise and super accurate. And on those situations - at least I hope so - my "german" influence comes in the front and we manage to buy, call, organize which is needed on time. But in general, he showed me not to over stress always everything. Just go with the flow and che sera sera. Enjoy the moment and wait what comes next.
- All together....did you regret to relocate?
- No! Not at all! A few hours and days I would change if I could turn back time, but all together a strong NO is my answer.
- What is next?
- I have no clue. Really. As said: che sera sera. No strickt plans.
- ....wishes?
- Of course. But let's keep them for the next anniversary.
- How about free time?
- Oh well, that is one of the things what I never have. I keep myself busy. And if not, then I am busy to figure out, what to do next. To keep myself busy in the future.
- You mean "busy" with work?
- Depends on, what you consider as "work". I have an official, 8-8.5 hours corporation work, my team is great I have no reason to complain. Moreover, I highly appreciate the place where I am and the opportunity. After work(ing hours) my brain and my hands are still "working". Mostly with crocheting.
I still did not give up to invest this (til last October hidden) talent into something really good. Let's say charity movement. I am searching for the opportunities, but you know: not everything goes as easy as it would go at home. After many months of skipping, I went back to the gym as well. Which is good not just for health, but mental condition as well. It cleans my body/brain literally from the inside, outside.
- You still say, "home"
- Yes. True. However, I go less and less...and I feel bigger and bigger distance. I would phrase a kinda Coelho bullsh*t. Home is where you are loved, where you feel you are loved. When I am home, there are certain people who make me feel loved, also here in Kraków. So, kinda bit here-bit there. Sometimes a bit nowhere. A bit HOMEless.
- What do you miss the most?
- I could say so popular things, like Túró Rudi and Vaníliás karika. (Sweets). But nope. Not at all. Of course some food - belive it or not, normal TV paprika you can just get for a few weeks in summer for a fortune of money, but not all year, and lets say Pirosarany, some spices. But nope. No particular food.
I would say sun. Water. And more sun. And more water. And a bit of a good wine. I feel like a flower who was deported into the desert. Oh yeah, and parties.
- Sun! How was summer?
- Thanks that I left my comfort zone (and met my boyfriend), I have and had the chance to travel much more. This year I've seen Treviso, Venice, Rome and we had a magical tour in Sicily. Hopefully some mini skii tours in Poland at winter time. But now, after a super nasty, painful and awful reason to jump home, we plan to go as well to Sevilla, Spain. We will see, we will see.
- You said "home" again...
- Yes, I know.
- Awful?
- I mentioned huge loss in the passed one year. There are next steps, "consequences" regarding this loss, which have to be taken. Deep breath, close the eyes, and let's face with it. It seems I lost more as first I thought. Much more.
- You shared a lot of things, which is/was new in your life. Did relocation change you? If so, how?
- Definitely yes. In many ways. Starting from simple things, like eating habit, going back to the gym (or at least doing some sport finally) and finding new hobbies, being more creative to solve everyday issues, being more friendly and polite (anyway, I am a guest here, right?) til kinda more serious ones.
- Like?
- One hand, I am much more open to people (and to try new things), but in some way much more closed as before. In Hungary I used to have 100 of "friends", colleagues, party dudes. Always laud, always noisy, always somewhere, doing something with someone.
Here I had to (and did) choose wisely, whom I am sharing my life. I think I am talking much less. And more quiet. (Okey, maybe not all the time with everyone, but compared myself, I feel like this). I started to appreciate quiet and I am not afraid at all being alone. I mean I used to it. In some way, everyone is alone with his/her own emotions, doubts, problems. Do not misunderstand me: it does not mean, physically being lonely or alone. Somehow a bit different. In your head.
Since a year, I did not watch any TV. I am not thinking about everyday TV watching, but not even online movies, or basically anything. Maybe it is good, maybe not. I remember when we were children with my bro, TV was our electric babysitter. I could not imagine my life without it. Now, I can not imagine to hear, listen all the time radio, TV, traffic. Nope. Quiet. This is what I need.
I see more the value of my friends. I mean: TRUE, REAL FRIENDS. I recognized, that distance really does not count. In many ways of course it does yes, but about feelings, being/staying faithful and rely on each other - distance does not matter at all.
I discovered the value of the time. TIME! This is the most precious, you can give to anyone, to anything. And I am choosing wisely, with whom, how much and on what I am spending it. If I could choose to break into a (money) bank or (time) bank, I would definitely choose the second.
I know my boarders, my limits, I am aware of my values, much more selfconfident as I used to be before. I know, that I DO NOT HAVE TO make unnecessary chitchats, I DO NOT HAVE TO accept behaviour, which I disagree and basically I DO NOT HAVE TO do anything, which is REQUIRED/EXPECTED from me. I can be myself.
I know who I am, where I came from, what are my reasons to be here. Maybe I got mature. Or just simply old. I do not know.
But there are certain things, which stay the same.
- Such as?
- My car. Dezső. My kitties. My friends. And the love of those, who stayed in Hungary or anywhere else in the world.
All together I have nothing to complain (like seriously) about. Maximum about typical "first world problems", which I highly despise. So I won't. Keep in mind: it is OK. Everything shall be OK at the end.
